My
half sister is pregnant, she is beautiful, gorgeous and she has a kind of shape
that dudes keep drooling over as a teenager. I also thought she had good
qualities but I only have physical evidences to back that up. She is only
beautiful on the outside, inside? Well, I can't say. She was wayward,
disobedient, a little spoiled brat and for some reasons, she was loved by all.
Well, all that was until three months ago when she could no longer hide her
tiny little secret. My bet was that she must have tried to get rid of it all to
no avail. When I came up from the menial job I was doing that evening exactly
three months ago, the report at home was that; ‘Mariah was pregnant for a
faceless bastard’. They had no idea who the father was; of course, she had been
with a dozen men of late so who knows the one who was responsible? She was
looking dejected and confused that evening, probably trying to figure out who
the father is? I wasn't surprised, in fact I was shocked that it took so long
for her to bring this type of shame on the family and even then, everyone
rallied around her in pity, she wasn't receiving much scolding, Dad was quiet
about it but you could see 'pity' written all over his face instead of range!
It
still amazes me why he preferred her to me. All I have done in all the 20years
of my life was try to please him. I got straight A's, helped out in any way I
could and made the family proud and yet I seldom get applauded by my dad or any
other member of the family for that matter. My father hated me and I had to
accept that fact every day of my life. But yesterday was a drastic turn of
events, as I walked into the room and saw his lifeless body on the bed.
Standing across the room, motionless like a statue, I felt nothing, absolutely
nothing, I shed no tear. I watched his two wives, my step moms, wailing in what
appeared to be agony and rolling on the floor, shedding crocodile tears as
neighbors tried to calm them down and right there, I gave my mind up to an
imaginary scenario of what it would have being like if Mom was here, would she
have put up the same show like these women? Who would have acted better? I
probably wouldn't know because she died of cancer four years ago. They said it
was cancer but I don't believe it was, I still blame dad for her death till
today because if he had stayed true to their marriage vows and didn’t bring in
a second wife just 3years after they got married, maybe he won't be lying
lifeless on that bed and maybe if he was, mom would be the only major cast in
this scene but of course, what do I know, I'm just a child they say.
Today
is his funeral, Dad wasn’t rigid about his religious believes, sometimes he
believed God was in church so he'd grab his rosary and pick up an old Bible of
his and go to a cathedral but that rarely happens unless it was Christmas.
Otherwise times, the Quran had the answers so he'd find his way into any
building overshadowed by a crescent moon and a star. But he’s father is a
fanatical Muslim and unlucky for his body, Grandpa is still alive so he had to
be buried immediately according to the Islamic rites. Now, here I am, watching
a man who I wanted to love so much yet let down by his neglect, lowered into
the earth along with all his wrong decisions. So I am deciding to make my own
decisions now, to leave home and go far away from my pregnant sister who
obviously detests me and my step mom and wayward step siblings, who always
thought I and my mother were cursed. But before I go, I needed to pick up the
old Bible dad used to take to church every Christmas, it will be the only memory
I'll have of him. Sitting on his bed,
scanning through the Bible, I understand why he never showed he cared, it was
because he truly loved me, even enough to leave a note for me; I shed my tears
now in quiet grief as I walk away from the darkness of my dad’s bad decisions to
make mine in the light of his path drawn out in his note.
