Curious

Sometimes I find myself holding a shovel
Stuck like a picture on a best-selling novel
About to dig; Dig into the sepulcher of memories
Just wondering what I could find
A rotten body of my past mistakes? (Rhetorical)
Events from yesterday that Ill love to re-take,
Because I failed the course of moving on
And I see myself sitting in the class of my waiving emotions;
My indecision persuades me to dial the same number
Every tone of the phone ringing strikes a painful chord across my heart

I wouldn't deny that I was on her IG page few minutes ago
Shes having fun, and probably that's what hurts the most.
Damn! I never knew Ill do this again but here I am
Listening to her voice on the other side
And my lips go on strike; void of words
My heart is pounding fast now,
My finger is pressing the red button now
Hoping she calls back even though shell never
But just like today, I will repeat this again tomorrow
But today, I hate me, and I promise to move on
But its hell difficult because sometimes, Im just CURIOUS!
So Ill dig again!

Regrets (poem)

As this ink paints words on these pages I remember you and how your words hurt,
Not the words you spoke, but the ones your didn’t,
Not the choice you made but the one you didn’t
Your weight crushed me, not the once you put on me, but the one you didn’t -
The weight of your love.
 You gave me a pseudo yoke, its crazy!
You made me believe I got you, every thought I had was about you,
Every battle I fought was not to doubt you, or your love! Damn, foolish me.
They say fools fall in love, well, they probably right,
Cause the words you said gave me sight,
A right perception of my lone naive walk in darkness of false love,
My continued logging for a false future with you,
False dreams, false desires, every hour, every single day.

I wish I could hate you, blow up and use curse words to spite you,
But that isn’t me, your actions can’t change who I am
The arrow of your betrayal pieced deep into my heart though, but didn’t corrupt me.
I have regrets, yes I do! They are regrets of my choices:
Why I told you I love you, why I stayed true to you, why I cared so much about you!
Why, why, why... ? but that's on me.
When fear turns to anger, anger turns to disappointment, and disappointment births Regret
And Regret? Pain!
Then In pain you ask yourself, this question;
“Did I ever love her? “And YES! Screams at your face,
Then finally you ask.” Why Did I ever love her?”
Probably will never know........
{THE END}